You Need To Lose Weight, Granger
by Wings of Jade
Summary: Caught in the act of staring at none other than Hermione Granger, Malfoy has to think of some excuse for ogling her...DHr


**Author's Note:** I haven't written anything HP for almost a year...O-O Scary thought. Anyway, although J.K. Rowling has squashed the idea of Hermione/Draco, I still thought I'd go on with it anyway...well, somewhat of it...

**Summary:** Caught in the act of staring at none other than Hermione Granger, Malfoy has to think of some excuse for ogling her...DHr

**Disclaimer:** Harry Potter belongs to J.K. Rowling, not me.

**You Need To Lose Weight, Granger**

**By: Wings of Jade**

_Stupid Potter, with his stupid 'potion-making skills'_, thought Malfoy savagely as he stole a glance behind him at Potter, who was leaning very close to his textbook and preparing his ingredients. He scarcely paid attention to his own potion, not even when it emitted a loud hiss and turned bright green.

"Your potion's hissing," Crabbe pointed out helpfully (for once), prodding Malfoy on the shoulder.

"Mind your own business!" Malfoy snapped, adding another ingredient to his potion. It stopped hissing and started bubbling madly.

Crabbe continued to tend to his own potion, which in truth wasn't much better off than Malfoy's.

Usually Malfoy wouldn't be so careless in Potions, but he was mad.

He was angry.

He was _jealous_.

_Just because he's got a scar on his head and he survived a stupid curse Slughorn has to fawn over him every single second_, Malfoy thought angrily. He was used to being the best in Potions when Snape taught; how Snape used to show everyone how perfect his solution was; how Snape always gave him good grades in Potions; then along came Slughorn, and Potter - who he thought _hadn't_ taken Potions - who stole away his glory.

At least the weasel wasn't any better; he was still as horrible at brewing potions as ever. At the moment Weasley was holding his nose from the putrid smell that his solution was emitting; Malfoy smirked.

And, there was another plus side...at least the Mudblood Granger didn't act like she knew everything anymore. In fact, she seemed to be incredibly annoyed that Harry had suddenly become a potion prodigy. (At this point, Malfoy had begun to stir his potion, which was starting to foam.) _Looks like the smartass isn't so smart anymore_, he thought scathingly. _At least she's not bouncing up and down as much anymore or showing off her potions. _Her hair was a tangled mess of brown, her dark eyes were desperate to get her potion right, to get it the same shade of dark blue as Potter's...she was continuously checking her textbook to make sure she had gotten it right, but her potion was still a pale periwinkle hue...

Granger was biting her lip. Malfoy didn't pay any attention to his own potion, but was instead focused on her for a second...his thoughts strayed away from Potter and onto her...even with the hair getting curlier and bushier and messier by the second from the steam of her potion, (and probably from stress too, with the bags under her eyes) she still actually didn't look _that_ bad...nowhere near as attractive as some of the other girls he knew and saw, but still not too ugly...and her figure wasn't that bad either..._Now that I think about it, I think she's definitely a little more slender than Pansy_, observed Malfoy.

Then he squinted at her; were those beads of sweat forming on her forehead? He silently laughed - for some reason, the idea that Granger was sweating like a pig but not being able to beat one of the most lousy potion-makers in the class was extremely funny to him. He continued to look at her.

_She's looks really hot when she's sweaty, though._

The thought occurred to him before he could stop himself. Still...he couldn't exactly deny it, could he? _She really does look - _

Then, at that moment - it just _had_ to be at _that_ moment - she looked up from her potion and saw him staring at her. Her eyes narrowed instantly. _She's seen me looking at her!_

"What are you staring at, Malfoy?" Granger spat at him, glaring.

At that moment he was brought back to reality.

"Er..." He tried to think of an excuse, fast. _Oh crap, what the hell am I going to say..._

Then, he thought of the _perfect_ excuse. Smirking, he told her in a mocking tone, "You need to lose weight, Granger. Gosh, when did you get so fat?"

He enjoyed the look of shock on her face before turning back to his potion, and vainly tried to fix it. It was now frothing and bubbling _and_ hissing all over his desk! Instead of the dark blue colour he was supposed to be achieving, it was now the colour of snot. He picked up his textbook hastily to avoid getting it wet. As he rescued his copy of _Advanced Potion-Making_, he distinctly heard Granger say, "Ron...do you think I'm - well, you know - a little chubby?"

Weasley answered, "You? Chubby? No way!"

He stole a glance back at her. She didn't seem reassured.

As the class ended, everyone gathered up his or her ingredients and replaced them back into their bags. Smiling to himself, Malfoy slung his bag over his shoulder and went out of the dungeon with Crabbe and Goyle trailing behind him. As Granger passed him, he hastily rearranged his features into a sneer. Her hand self-consciously drifted up to her hair...

Her hair had settled by now, and she was flattening it repeatedly with her hand. She looked very pretty when she was trying to fix her hair...Malfoy remembered what he had said before and eyed Granger. Hopefully she wouldn't try to go on a diet or anything to make herself look skinnier...she looked fine the way she was...attractive...

Then, he shook his head. _Forget about her_, he told himself firmly. _She's a Mudblood. No matter how pretty she may be, she's still a Mudblood._ His eyes wandered over to her again as she walked in front of him with Scarhead and Weasel. As the two obnoxious idiots talked about Quidditch, Granger turned her head back at him - perhaps because of suspicion - and their eyes met for a split second.

They both looked away at the same time, Malfoy staring at the ground in front of him determinedly, while she looked at her two little friends and tried to sound interested.

Malfoy scolded himself mentally again, as he heard Granger asking Scarhead now if he thought she was a little chubby. _Stop staring at her before you have to invent some other excuse_, he chided himself. _Even if you have to look at her, do it in secret, not when she's looking as well!_

Still, she was awfully pretty.

* * *

**This has got to be the shortest one-shot fic I've ever done. It's actually not really romantic, and the only humorous part is probably when Malfoy says she has to lose weight, but I can't think of any other genre. Just pure randomness. REVIEW!**


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